The Man Who Could Not Stop Spitting

Written by Matt Lennox

In a backwoods corner of Virginia, a man roams the land with one uncontrollable urge: to spit. He spits on everything—children, cops, lovers, even fate itself. Cast out of society and eventually imprisoned, he finds strange solace in a grotesque, gooey companionship.

In the wild woods of Virginia is a species of man who has a serious problem. No he’s not sick, and, no, he isn’t angry or anything. He can’t stop spitting. I know it seems odd right? But it’s true. Everywhere this man goes he spits. He spits on women, he spits on men, he spits on old people, and he even spits on children. What kind of monster is this you ask? This man has no name. He is only known as “The Man Who Could Not Stop Spitting”. See he is believed to of had a name at one point and even a family until one morning. That morning he woke up and started to spit on his wife until she threw him out of their home.

He spiraled out of control begging for help but he couldn’t speak. All he could do was spit! He ran around town spitting on everyone and everything all while getting kicked out of every business in town. Eventually the cops were called and yes; he spat on them as well. “The Man Who Could Not Stop Spitting” is now behind bars and yes—he is still spitting. But things aren’t so bad for him because at least he can use his spit to give himself pleasure with his hand. He eventually would escape jail and he ran off into the deep woods of Virginia. They say if you hear a squishing noise followed by a “Katoo” that he is near. But don’t be afraid he is only spitting on his hand, which he is now married to.

Date Created: 11-09-2025
Date Modified: 11-09-2025