Who the Hell is coming to Town?

We’re all familiar with Santa Claus. The sweet, jolly (read: fat) man with the red suit and the white beard who breaks into homes on Christmas Eve and leaves gifts for good kids and coal for the bad ones.
In recent years we have also become more familiar with his occasional companion Krampus. The half-man, half-goat that punishes naughty kids by swatting them with birch branches or carting them off in a sack.

But there is a whole other world of weird Santa Claus sidekicks that is going unappreciated, and this holiday season, I am determined to rectify that.

Belsnickel

Let’s start with my personal favorite, Belsnickel. He’s mostly my favorite because that name is a delight to say.

Originating in the Palatinate of Germany (in case the name didn’t make that clear already), Bels is essentially the bastard child of Krampus and Santa. He’s a crotchety old man who wears fur all over his body and visits children carrying switches with which to beat them if they’re naughty, but also carrying candy and cakes to give them if they’re good.

Generally, he visits alone, in some cases arriving earlier in the month to check up on whether the kids are behaving before Saint Nicholas himself visits on Christmas.

Belsnickel emigrated to the US in the 19th century, and in some communities, largely in Pennsylvania, he was the only Christmas visitor kids even knew.

Despite Krampus hogging the spotlight, Belsnickel has been gaining in popularity recently, even being portrayed as the main antagonist of the film.

Père Fouettard

Next on the list is Père Fouettard, or as he was later known in America (and as I will be calling him for the rest of this article because I am unbelievably immature) Spanky.

Spanky has his roots in France and other French-speaking regions, where the earliest mention of him dates to around 1252.

In an origin story Freddy Krueger can only dream of, Spanky and his wife spotted three young, wealthy looking boys on their way to boarding school and killed them in order to rob them. Perhaps the murder itself was necessary to prevent witnesses, but one has to wonder if the drugging, slitting of throats, cutting into pieces, and stewing said pieces in a barrel was more for funsies. At any rate, Saint Nicholas came along and resurrected the boys, at which point Spanky repented and became Nick’s traveling companion.

There is another, more recent, origin story that involves the 1552 Siege of Metz, a burned effigy of Charles V, and an association of tanners doing some questionable marketing, but I personally prefer the Jeffrey Dahmer version.

Like most of Santa’s companions, Spanky is known for walking around looking scary and beating on kids who have been naughty. For those of you wondering why this was such a recurrent theme, during these periods of history Santa was still personified as the literal Saint Nicholas, and it struck the powers that be as a bad look for a saint to go around doling out corporal punishment.

Zwarte Piet

The last character on our list is Zwarte Piet, or Black Peter. I suggest you put your fingers in your collars now and get ready to tug cause this one is, shall we say, problematic.

Black Peter is a character of Dutch origin who was first depicted as a demon who accompanied Saint Nick and beat naughty children (here we go again), but his character evolved over time.

Well, evolved is such a strong term…

The first actual illustration of Black Pete comes from an 1845 book by schoolteacher Jan Schenkman, in which he is depicted as a “black Moor”, which was the term used at the time for Black people generally.
From there, Pete became less of a punishing demon and more of a cute assistant who joined Santa on his travels and handed out sweets and gifts to good children.

Which on its face sounds harmless enough, after all isn’t that what our modern elves do? Until you realize a few key things. First, remember that Pete is depicted as a Black man. Second, his story eventually shifted to, in some versions, being a former slave freed by Saint Nicholas and pledging lifelong loyalty in gratitude. And third, people who dress up as Black Peter do so IN BLACKFACE.

That’s right, the Dutch apparently have a long proud history of some Christmas minstrelsy. And proud they are; to this day, plenty of Dutch people see no issue with traditional depictions of the character and fully support parades and events involving groups of white people in exaggerated black makeup and wigs.

Their insistence that it’s not actually racist is undermined, however, by the growing crowd of citizens who feel the exact opposite, as well as the growing use and acceptance of an alternate version known as “Sooty Pete”, which involves the actors merely having soot streaked across their face, ostensibly from following Santa down the chimney.

Basically, Santa has gone through more partners than Mickey Rooney. Sometimes they existed to help, most of the time they were there to do his dirty work and protect his public image. This is why I prefer to observe Krampusnacht every December 5th; at least he’s honest in his intentions.

Wishing everyone out there a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanza, Blessed Yule, Bright Solstice, and Happy New Year!