Letters

Dear Bully boy! I don’t like the tone of you magazine or the fact you call your readers “Bob”. As a matter of fact i don’t like anything about your magazine! Its left-center-rightest crap and your hippy bourgeoisie ideals sicken me! By the way i have sent six poems 50 short stories and three novelettes. When will you publish them?

~ Ernest Plagiarize Hemingway Steinbeck.

Sorry, Bob. Due to the large influx of authors named
Bob we are having a serious filing problem around
here.

I just want you to know that I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

~ Bubba Tarkus

Dear Bob-ba Tarkus… Wrong magazine. Maybe you
should be writing to Archaic Radio.

Dear sir or madam, I’d like you to know that I had ordered 69 copies of Twisted Pulp # 2 for my 9th grade class. I was none too happy to see my Mother on the cover! How dare you use the photograph of her from the 1985 Miss Romania beauty contest! I would like for you to replace the cover with a blank piece of paper! Or I shall have my Uncle Renton sue your pants off! He’s been a legal aide for thirty five years!

~ Karen Moslov Jefferson

Dear Mrs. Bobbette,
While I applaud you for sharing our educational and informative content with your class of impressionable fourteen-year-olds. I believe you may be mistaken about the cover model. If you are not mistaken about the cover model, you may want to inform her that half of the US thinks she’s great, but the other half… not so much